Driving To Deliver Your Business

Face to Face: '90s alt rock lyrics re-interpreted for the Trump Era

The gang at My Posting Career started a jam session[1], riffing off of ’90s alternative rock lyrics and setting them in the topsy-turvy Trump-driven world that we live in today. I like the version of the REM song where Jeb sings about “Losing This Election”. I’ll post mine here, sung to the tune of “Ironic”[2] by Alanis Morissette.

More to follow down below.

[Added: “Two Prezzes”, to the tune of “Two Princes”[3] by Spin Doctors.]
[Added: “Stay, Jeb (jk gtfo)”, to the tune of “Stay”[4] by Lisa Loeb.]

– – – – – – – – – –

“Iconic”

An old hag turned sixty-eight
She won the primary — had a stroke the next day
It’s a brash guy, in your staid debate
It’s a kiddie-stage upgrade, two minutes too late

And isn’t Trump iconic?
Don’tcha think? It’s like freight traaains through your op-ed page
It’s equal tiiime after $10 million paid
It’s the ‘Merican priiide that a cuck couldn’t fake
And who would’ve thought? IT TRIGGERRRS

Mr. Pray-I’m-Safe
Was a low-energy guy
Rehearsed his tough-guy face
But flubbed his canned sound bites
He waited his whole damn life
To claim his birthright
And as his polls crashed down
He thought, “Well isn’t 5th nice?”

And isn’t Trump iconic?
Don’tcha think? It’s like freight traaains through your op-ed page
It’s equal tiiime after $10 million paid
It’s the ‘Merican priiide that a cuck couldn’t fake
And who would’ve thought? IT TRIGGERRRS

Well Gov has a funny way of selling out on you
When they think every bill’s OK and lobbying’s going right
But Gov has a funny way of hearing you out
When they think every poll’s gone wrong
And every vote blows up in their face

A downsized plant, after cutting our wage
A “no trolling” sign on some Twitter-ette’s page
It’s like ten-thousand Jews, when all you need is a white
It’s finding the town of my dreams
And then finding its immigrant blight

And isn’t Trump iconic?
Don’tcha think?
A little too iconic
And yeah I really do think

It’s like freight traaains through your op-ed page
It’s equal tiiime after $10 million paid
It’s the ‘Merican priiide that a cuck couldn’t fake
And who would’ve thought? IT TRIGGERRRS

Well Gov has a funny way of selling out on youuu
But Gov has a funny, funny way
Of hearing you out
Hearing you out

– – – – – – – – – –

“Two Prezzes”

Hopeful Prezzes feud before you
That’s what I said now
Would-be Prezzes who implore you
Just vote ahead now
One has donors in his pocket
That’s some bread now
This one, the migrant tide he’ll block it
Ain’t in his head now

This one has Presidential breeding
That’s what I said now
This one prods populist stampeding
Ain’t in his head now
You cuck for him, your leaders will condone you
How ’bout that now?
You stump for me, your leaders will disown you
They’ll eat their hat now

Cuck for him, stump for me
I’m the one that loves the country, can’t you see?
I ain’t got no boner for the GOP
But, I know what a Prez and leader ought to be
I know what a Prez and leader ought to be

Said if you veto anchor babies
Just vote ahead now
And if you are sick of all the maybe’s
Just vote ahead now
And if you want deal-making powers
Just vote ahead now
And if you would like to troll for hours
Just vote ahead now

Said, hopeful Prezzes feud before you
That’s what I said now
Would-be Prezzes who implore you
Just vote ahead now
One has donors in his pocket
That’s some bread now
This one, the migrant tide he’ll block it
Ain’t in his head now

Cuck for him, stump for me
I’m the one that loves the country, can’t you see?
I ain’t got no boner for the GOP
But, I know what a Prez and leader ought to be
I know what a Prez and leader ought to be

Said if you veto anchor babies
Just vote ahead now
And if you are sick of all the maybe’s
Just vote ahead now
And if you want deal-making powers
Just vote ahead now
And if you would like to troll for hours
Just vote ahead now

– – – – – – – – – –

“Stay, Jeb (jk gtfo)”, a fragment

You say, I read the polls how I want to
You say, I cuck so all the time
Y qu ?

And I thought Common Core was vital
And I thought that my brand was strong
And now my ads are failing
Now I know that I’m gonna get schlonged
‘Cause I pissed you (off)
Yeah, I pissed you (off)

And you say, I read the polls how I want to
I won’t govern hard
I won’t pay attention to illegals for deporting
Or to any wall, anywhere
I don’t understand, is my energy there?
I’m only hearing negative — low, low, looow

References

  1. ^ jam session (mpcdot.com)
  2. ^ “Ironic” (www.youtube.com)
  3. ^ “Two Princes” (www.youtube.com)
  4. ^ “Stay” (www.youtube.com)



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